Our world and our culture have so much to do with how we shape and form our families...
It is hard to know at times which direction to turn for information and opinions we can value when it comes to raising our kids. Two things that most people can agree upon are that there are many choices and there is constant change in the standard.
The focus here is two fold: 1)Learning how faith, spirituality and religion impact our choices and 2) What really matters you; consider this a place to explore and voice your findings. Let's create a shared network of resources ideas and tried and true advice. It's possible we might find the standard we are looking for.
The focus here is two fold: 1)Learning how faith, spirituality and religion impact our choices and 2) What really matters you; consider this a place to explore and voice your findings. Let's create a shared network of resources ideas and tried and true advice. It's possible we might find the standard we are looking for.
Raising Kids Who Turn out Right by Dr. Tim Kimmel
Session One/Two - Quick Notes
Beginning the Legacy
Let's break down the whole house analogy, shall we?
Grace Based Parenting Series is best understood by the visual of their house model. We are sure of the fact that a house needs a foundation. Likewise a family needs a foundation too. Where do we find that foundation? A never changing stability that we can build upon? Check out God's GRACE.
Grace is defined as the never ending love of God. It has so many fine details involved in it all of which allow us to live out God's promise in our daily lives. Extended to parenting, grace is seen as loving and caring for your child as God loves and cares for us.
Significant Points from the Video/Book
Parenting can only be successful with a plan. Just as blueprints are used to build a house we as parents must have a plan for raising or kids. The question then becomes where does that plan come from?
If we ground the plan in God's grace then we naturally look to scripture- beginning with the Ten Commandments and continuing through the many readings, verse by verse and winding up somewhere in Psalms that speak to us in poetic rhyme and comfort.
The Bible is packed full of so much great information for parenting.
Referencing back to the first series, we know that our ability to meet the inner needs of our children allowing them to grow up surrounded by secure love, able to identify their unique, significant purpose and giving them strong hope for the future set them toward greatness. In addition opening our home to the idea that children must be able to be free to be different,to be vulnerable, to be candid, and to make mistakes shows them our trust in them and God's grace. This builds on the foundation.
Innovations: Through discussion, we see that discover that the walls of our home are built on unconditional love and the strength of a good loving marriage. We add a fence of security and protection and want to show gratitude for the gift of parenting and make that our roof. Strong recognition is given to the need to work hard at building from the inside out and not yielding to the temptation to build from the outside in allowing others views and expectations to mold our parenting style. Easy to say, not as easy to do. "Pay attention to the heart"
Session Three - 'Not so' Quick Notes
Building the Legacy
Ready for the Building Blocks?
Faith-
Well, we spent a whole session on Faith. It's a tireless topic. There is a lot packed into this topic and unpacking can be difficult and sometimes messy. Let's try and frame it with a perspective, a way to see inside. The author uses a great old tune by the Drifters for those of us old enough to remember it and the group for that matter! Up On the Roof speaks to the man made jungle that we have created and trapped ourselves in. The idea of escaping to the roof to see the stars and the natural beauty becomes very appealing as the pressures of life cause stress and distress. What does this have to do with our walk with God? Do we walk only under pressure or every day? Can we believe in that which we cannot see and put or trust in all that is not known? This is complex to be sure or do we make it that way? We talked about what it means and what it takes to 'jump' reason to a purer faith. And to do it daily, faithfully. That it is not near enough to 'talk the talk' for our children. Our actions are what they pay most attention to. We must 'walk the walk' and do it with pride and confidence. If we cannot rest comfortably in the hands of God, they will not either. Make daily choices that model faith for your child. Talk out solutions with them that include giving God the lead.
Then there is the matter of life, death and life after death. An uncomfortable topic to be sure. Again because we make it so. As parents we struggle constantly with protecting and securing our children. Fear of death can trap us. Rest in the assurance that life's process includes Christ and the redemptive nature of his love is what it means to be christian. We cannot full discuss Faith with out this perspective. The conclusion should feel joyous. Let's end with a quote from this chapter that I think sums it all up;
"Faith enables us to see the big picture,to enjoy the God who was there before we were born and will be there after we've gone. Without faith a person cannot enjoy true confidence. Without faith a person cannot embrace truth."
Session four - Quick Notes
Integrity
"What we do when no one is looking"
Here's an interesting perspective:
The origin of the word integrity -
"From Latin heritage - root word integer meaning whole; its counterpart – fraction
An unimpaired condition, the quality or state of being complete or undivided."
When we look to build integrity into the character of our children we may see it as the truth, convictions and reputation that stands for the whole of the self.
Truth - "All that is."
This has to be one of the hardest concepts we teach our children.
Conviction - "A step beyond principles"
Beginning the Legacy
Let's break down the whole house analogy, shall we?
Grace Based Parenting Series is best understood by the visual of their house model. We are sure of the fact that a house needs a foundation. Likewise a family needs a foundation too. Where do we find that foundation? A never changing stability that we can build upon? Check out God's GRACE.
Grace is defined as the never ending love of God. It has so many fine details involved in it all of which allow us to live out God's promise in our daily lives. Extended to parenting, grace is seen as loving and caring for your child as God loves and cares for us.
Significant Points from the Video/Book
Parenting can only be successful with a plan. Just as blueprints are used to build a house we as parents must have a plan for raising or kids. The question then becomes where does that plan come from?
If we ground the plan in God's grace then we naturally look to scripture- beginning with the Ten Commandments and continuing through the many readings, verse by verse and winding up somewhere in Psalms that speak to us in poetic rhyme and comfort.
The Bible is packed full of so much great information for parenting.
Referencing back to the first series, we know that our ability to meet the inner needs of our children allowing them to grow up surrounded by secure love, able to identify their unique, significant purpose and giving them strong hope for the future set them toward greatness. In addition opening our home to the idea that children must be able to be free to be different,to be vulnerable, to be candid, and to make mistakes shows them our trust in them and God's grace. This builds on the foundation.
Innovations: Through discussion, we see that discover that the walls of our home are built on unconditional love and the strength of a good loving marriage. We add a fence of security and protection and want to show gratitude for the gift of parenting and make that our roof. Strong recognition is given to the need to work hard at building from the inside out and not yielding to the temptation to build from the outside in allowing others views and expectations to mold our parenting style. Easy to say, not as easy to do. "Pay attention to the heart"
Session Three - 'Not so' Quick Notes
Building the Legacy
Ready for the Building Blocks?
Faith-
Well, we spent a whole session on Faith. It's a tireless topic. There is a lot packed into this topic and unpacking can be difficult and sometimes messy. Let's try and frame it with a perspective, a way to see inside. The author uses a great old tune by the Drifters for those of us old enough to remember it and the group for that matter! Up On the Roof speaks to the man made jungle that we have created and trapped ourselves in. The idea of escaping to the roof to see the stars and the natural beauty becomes very appealing as the pressures of life cause stress and distress. What does this have to do with our walk with God? Do we walk only under pressure or every day? Can we believe in that which we cannot see and put or trust in all that is not known? This is complex to be sure or do we make it that way? We talked about what it means and what it takes to 'jump' reason to a purer faith. And to do it daily, faithfully. That it is not near enough to 'talk the talk' for our children. Our actions are what they pay most attention to. We must 'walk the walk' and do it with pride and confidence. If we cannot rest comfortably in the hands of God, they will not either. Make daily choices that model faith for your child. Talk out solutions with them that include giving God the lead.
Then there is the matter of life, death and life after death. An uncomfortable topic to be sure. Again because we make it so. As parents we struggle constantly with protecting and securing our children. Fear of death can trap us. Rest in the assurance that life's process includes Christ and the redemptive nature of his love is what it means to be christian. We cannot full discuss Faith with out this perspective. The conclusion should feel joyous. Let's end with a quote from this chapter that I think sums it all up;
"Faith enables us to see the big picture,to enjoy the God who was there before we were born and will be there after we've gone. Without faith a person cannot enjoy true confidence. Without faith a person cannot embrace truth."
Session four - Quick Notes
Integrity
"What we do when no one is looking"
Here's an interesting perspective:
The origin of the word integrity -
"From Latin heritage - root word integer meaning whole; its counterpart – fraction
An unimpaired condition, the quality or state of being complete or undivided."
When we look to build integrity into the character of our children we may see it as the truth, convictions and reputation that stands for the whole of the self.
Truth - "All that is."
This has to be one of the hardest concepts we teach our children.
- Marilyn Von Savant,who is claimed to have the highest recorded I.Q by the Guinness Book of World Records, was asked what is the most powerful concept in the world? She answered TRUTH. What makes it so powerful? Because" whether we like it or not there is nothing we can do about it." The most important point made here is that truth is absolute. Partials and maybes are not actually the truth and when we pass them off as such we send a double message to our children.
Conviction - "A step beyond principles"
- ' When I move my reason for living from catch phrases to fighting words, I step outside my world of comfort and must be ready to risk everything I hold dear.'